Notes from Vegas

I spent last weekend in Las Vegas with two of my favorite high school boys. What follows are my observations from a well-rounded, fabulous trip.

– Vegas is no longer a place to take your family–unless your children are adults. Giant billboards featuring hoochie girls in racy outfits (if you can call them outfits) run the length of the Strip advertising half-naked shows at major casinos. The pool scene is a hotbed of inappropriate conversations between adults ranging in age from 18 to 55, all who have started drinking by noon. I can’t, in fact, think of an activity to take a child to in Vegas anymore.

-To fit in at a Vegas club, your dress can only cover one to two centimeters below your bottom. Otherwise you are out of place. My friend counted four separate women on the dance floor whose underwear, or lack thereof, he saw in plain view, in some cases multiple times. Since when is it sexy to blatantly reveal your thong on a dance floor before you get the guy you are grinding with back to your room! A true sign I am too old for the Vegas club scene.

-Walking the 2.1 miles, from the Wynn to the Luxor in cheap high heels may seem like a good idea at the time, with the lights, and the shiny new hotels to see, but I guarantee your feet will pay. I still have a red inflamed blister on the top of my toe, five days later.

-But on that same note, the Strip is at its best at night. The lights alone can give you a high. Say what you want about Times Square, and how annoying the foot traffic is, but the same thing applies. You just can’t beat bright, shining, colorful lights. It’s like having Christmas decorations up all year.

-Eating a plain old McDonald’s cheeseburger at 2 am is a great way to weaken the blow from your hangover…despite what my friend may say.

-It is very much worth leaving the Strip, and the city, and finding your way to one of the many natural wonders that surround Vegas. This trip I found myself hiking through Red Rocks Canyon, and being incredibly disappointed that I had dropped and permanently damaged my camera at the club the night before.

–The Mix Lounge, on the 64th floor of THEhotel, may win for best view of the Strip. You can see all the way down to the Stratosphere. And with a delicious $15 martini in hand, I’m not sure I’ve ever enjoyed a view so much.

-Another shout-out to the Mandalay Bay complex is for the Red Square restaurant and bar, which not only features a very tall headless statue out front, but also serves it’s martinis on a strip of ice running the length of a bar. The bartender is also nice enough to hand out free blue cheese stuffed olives to those of us that really couldn’t handle another martini.

-Vegas with a few of your oldest friends, who know you inside and out, and are totally okay with you doing the running man on elevators, is the right way to do Vegas. It keeps me coming back.